A Mother’s Role in the Masculine Initiation of her Son

Dear precious Mother,

Firstly I would like to encourage you, to encourage & support your son and his father, uncle, grandfather, mentor, or significant male other, to participate in one of our 5 Night Father-Son Adventures. I acknowledge that it would be a sacrifice for you… especially in regards to time and finances… although I firmly believe that you will all be richly rewarded for those sacrifices… as has been the case in the lives and families of so many already.

I imagine that in so many ways, it seems like just yesterday that your now teenage son was born. The birthing process was not complete until the umbilical cord between he and the placenta which your body grew to sustain & nourish him during pregnancy, was severed. The cord was cut, and it was then that I imagine you held your baby boy in your arms, and nothing else that was happening in the world seemed to matter.

It’s highly likely that you experienced some kind of postpartum blues in the days after his birth… the majority of Mothers do. It’s a completely normal reaction to the separation of your baby from your womb… no longer one being, but two.

Well heads up Mum, you’re about to experience the second, and just as necessary postpartum experience. Your boy is well on his way to becoming a man, and on the final evening of our 5 Night Father-Son Adventure, your son’s father, or significant male other will call him out of boyhood, and into either young manhood, or authentic manhood, depending upon his age. Your relationship will never, and should never be the same again. And just like the first postpartum at birth, you may also experience emotion that you are unable to explain. That’s completely normal. Try and relax, and give yourself a break. It’s perfectly OK to grieve what’s been lost, but it’s also time to celebrate what has begun.

This season of your son’s life is where his Dad’s influence, or the influence of a significant male other in your son’s life must increase, because masculinity is bestowed by masculinity. Femininity can never bestow masculinity. For this reason, a son will instinctively begin to pull away from you during these years, hence this letter giving you the heads up in regards to what’s coming, as an attempt to prepare you for these times. Without question, your son will still turn to you for comfort, but if Dad is involved, he will turn to him, and so well he should, for adventure, for the opportunity to test his strength, and most of all, to receive the answer to his question… Do I have what it takes?

Very few Mothers handle this transition well, but it’s important that you do, otherwise things can & often do go bad. It’s a time where boundaries need to be established, and the change in your relationship must be redefined, for the sake of you both.

So, once again I encourage you to encourage & support your son and his father or significant male other to participate in one of our 5 Night Father-Son Adventures. And then plan a celebration dinner upon his return home. If you have the time to do so, you might like to prepare a montage of photographs from your son’s life, but most importantly, this is the time for you to speak beautiful and affirming words to your son… preferably in public, and especially in front of the rest of your family. This is a milestone in your son’s life, and a milestone in the life of your family. You can do this! You can once again be the life-giver your son needs you to be! I trust you will shine.

To help give you a balanced perspective of what to expect, and what I have attempted to convey above, I have asked my beautiful wife Melissa to offer you some timely words of encouragement… from one Mother to another. Here’s what she has to say… A Letter to Mums – from a Mum – on the matter of Masculine Initiation.

Please don’t be afraid to ask questions here of either myself, or Melissa.

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